Hope is a funny thing.
We want it.
We need it.
Often it is what sustains us.
As a child, I would ‘hope’ for a bike.
I ‘hoped’ for the freckles on my nose to disappear.
I hoped for a lot of things.
As an adult, I have experienced hope as anything but “wishful thinking”. Rather, I now know hope to be a confident trust in God. Our hope can be defined as the expectation of future good based on God’s character, not on circumstances. (And thank goodness for that!!)
I have a conflict of feelings when it comes to hope.
I am an eternal optimist!
I lean towards hoping for good…in people, in circumstances, in outcomes, in everything!
But I am also one who was raised with the constant barrage of “you are not good enough, you need to earn love, you have to work — hard! — for good to come to you”. Consequently, there is often a battle in my mind between being an eternal optimist and shooting down my own hopes with, “Don’t be silly, Leisa….”.
While I hoped for YEARS to get a bike, my determination to get one did nothing to chip away at my mom’s resolve to not allow it. Still, I remained steadfast in my hope. I ‘walked in faith’…was a ‘good girl’…thought I found ways to solve things on my own by asking to fix up my brother’s old two-wheeler.
I never got a bike.
Over the years, my experiences appeared to repeat as I hoped for this or that in life. On the surface, it seemed ‘hope’ was futile.
But what I came to understand is the depth of God’s infinite love and goodness, as He often withholds something from our story because He is working on something He knows to be better.
When I was in 2nd grade, I wanted to be Student of the Week more than *anything*. Every Friday afternoon, Principal Jones would announce over the PA system, one student from each class as the new Student of the Week. Each week, I would scrunch my eyes tightly shut, wrinkling my nose to the point of concealing a freckle or two and hold my breath as I waited and listened for my name. And each week, someone else would get called.
I didn’t understand. I KNEW I was a good student. I KNEW I was going the extra mile to shine as a helper to my teacher and other students. What in the world did a kid have to do to earn Student of the Week?!
Mrs. Manning, my 2nd grade teacher, observed my weekly hopes and finally mouthed to me from her desk, “Be patient…”.
And so I was.
At the end of the month, we had a school assembly. We all gathered in the cafeteria/auditorium, sitting in neat rows, by grade, on the cold linoleum floor. At the assembly, anything pertinent to the month would be shared and after all was done, each teacher lined up on the stage to announce who was chosen as Student of the Month.
I got Student of the Month!
All I ever dreamed about was Student of the Week…it had never occurred to me to shoot for more. And yet, there I was, sitting crisscross apple sauce on the cafeteria floor, hearing my name echo through the room as I was asked to walk forward and receive my award. I was stunned and thrilled and delighted!
That’s what God does.
He goes exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond all we could ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20-21)
We try to work towards specific outcomes and God knocks our socks off with what we couldn’t dream up on our own.
So why do we lose hope? Why do we doubt?
I mean, there IS that human factor, right? Too easily filled with doubt. Too easily frustrated by what we feel are delayed outcomes.
The cool thing is God takes all of that into account. He knows the intricacies of our heart – He designed it! He knows our concerns and inhibitions, working with love and caring anyway.
My heart has so many hopes. Yours does, too.
We don’t always voice them.
Sometimes, we won’t even admit them to ourselves.
But deep down, past all of the hurts and trials and frustrations and setbacks, there is a glimmer of hope.
Some of our very deepest feelings are whispers of hope we dare not allow to bubble up to the surface for fear of being disappointed.
As a child, I was far too naive to realize I had no shot when it came to getting a bike. I persisted and tried and hoped and waited; all for nothing.
As an adult, I have been disappointed enough to err on the side of caution. I can have optimistic hope for others to the moon and back! But as a result of the verbiage ingrained in me throughout my upbringing, it’s a hard-fought battle to maintain that same level of hope for myself.
This is when God is God.
This is when He looks beyond my fragile, human weakness and goes straight to the very deepest part of my heart, whispering…
I know you.
I created you.
I hear the words you are hesitant to speak.
I am working on your behalf.
I love you.
Trust Me.
And then…
He does things I could not have anticipated. He manages things I don’t always see. He works things together for GOOD!
Knowing this.
Knowing God loves me so tenderly…?
This gives me hope, offering an inexplicable joy and peace beyond understanding as I wait upon Him with childlike faith.
What are you hoping for? What are the deepest desires of your heart? Are you longing for Student of the Week with Student of the Month not even on your radar?
Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse we all know well:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
But the two verses following are KEY:
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me WHEN (capitalization by me) you seek me with all your heart.
W H E N !!!!
I get it …waiting is rough! But there can be such sweetness in the waiting when you invest that time seeking the Lord with ALL of your heart!
Seek His face.
Seek His goodness.
Seek His whispers to your heart.
Seek His direction.
Seek His fingerprints scattered throughout your every day.
What you’ll find is…
the magnificence of a sunset…
the music of a child’s laughter…
the satisfaction of a good meal…
the blessing of waking with breath in your lungs…
coincidences that are anything but…
Then, when you’ve stopped desperately seeking the answer to a prayer because you’ve been busy seeking the heart of the Lord, extraordinary things begin to fall into place.
Extraordinary! ...because they are from God Almighty, your Abba Father.
Wait on Him, knowing.
Smile to yourself, knowing.
Trust with all of your heart, knowing.
Go ahead and hope, because your hope is in the LORD!
And the difference between you with Him…
and you without Him…
is everything. ❤
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